Musings of a Mother-in-Law

It’s April which happens to be the birth month of great writers:  August Wilson, William Shakespeare and my husband! I plan on spending most of the month with posts to honor him, how we met, who he is and why I love him. Our first post, however, is written by my mommy ( I regressed to calling her mommy again once I got married)  about how she loves her son-in -law more than me.   -Candice Jeanine

By: Carmen Jackson

How do I love he (my son-in-law)? Let me count the ways!

My daughter is pretty good at reading me. Reading me and understanding me are not quite the same, but she’s usually in the ballpark. For example, somewhere in the course of being courted, engaged, and married to Ade (pronounced Ah Day), she expressed out loud to me that she believed I preferred my son-in- law to her. Talk about insulting a mother! Okay, not exactly insulting since I could kind of see why she thought this.

Though I’ve learned some things from her (generosity, cooking skills [backwards, right?], determination to name but a few), there remain concepts that are foreign to her generation… not simply because we have lived longer, but because we have lived longer AND have adult children for whom our love and concern never wanes. It is this mature love for her which made me understand  that her college selection paled in comparison to her husband selection. And have I told you about her husband selection? I love him!

My daughter is a new mother. In all that she provides for my grandson, she (hopefully) has not experienced the fear of not being there for him… literally. The older you get, the more likely you are to contemplate this very real possibility. Would it not be nice to know your child still  has someone in their lives who loves them unconditionally? It’s not just nice; it’s reassuring. It’s comforting. That love in your child’s life allows you to exhale (no more waiting)!

So, my daughter is right… kind of (forgive this hanging preposition)! The thing is, for each of my remaining children, I would hope when they make that selection that I feel the same way about their spouses, too!

I do love my son in law! I love the way he looks at my daughter. I love that they laugh wildly together! I love the way my grandson looks at his father! I love that he is a responsible husband.I love that my grandmother loved him. I love that my daughter has someone with whom to share her dreams and fears. I love that he is a compassionate person and that I’ve seen that compassion in action. I love, too, that Ade has been willing for Candice and her mother and her family always… to leave a little room for grace.


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