A few weeks ago , I went home to East St. Louis for a week. It was such a necessary and refreshing trip. I was gathering my thoughts to blog about it upon returning to Chicago when the news of the Charleston 9 hit. It was as if any thoughts of the joy and refreshment I experienced at home were wiped clean. How could I speak about “home” for me when for those 9 and those that love them, home would NEVER be the same.
How could I leave room for grace when my anger consumed all of my heart space?How could this happen?
I admit that most times I really try to see the bright side of things, but this incident was so clouded with gloom that it strangled any inch of light that tried to seep through the cracks. Why would this happen?
Just when I think I can hit publish on this blog post, ANOTHER incident happens! I got nothing right now. Perhaps I’ll find something to say at a later date that will be uplifting, inspiring even, but as of right now I feel that grace has left the building and made room for rage, sorrow and confusion…
One thought on “Suffocated Grace”
Grace…I can’t begin to even put my thoughts and feelings into any kind of structure. I admit that I have been roadside without assistance for a really long time, spiritually. Grace…I have been working on spiritual “fumes” but I have not lacked love, kindness, or compassion, towards anyone. However, Grace…I keep coming up short on. I try to refrain from watching media, surfing the web, reading comments on “the book” but somehow I stay informed. It is very sad and it has my heart harden. Anger, thoughts of revenge, side looks at all the whites, LAWD GRACE….(I use the Grace over and over because it brings me back to MY reality)How much longer will our people suffer??? So tired of crying, praying seeking justice the right way (protest) and the wrong way (unnamed). Tired of listening to the so called people with authority blame the victim. Grace..I can’t even deal!! Jesus get me near the cross and keep me there. #empty #prayerwhat